Relateful coaching and the opening for the new

 


"The most exciting breakthroughs of the 21st century will not occur because of technology but because of an expanding concept of what it means to be human." John Naisbitt



I am currently in the Relateful Coaching Training. It feels expanding and nourishing, shedding light on unconscious places and allowing more truth to surface. The focus is to explore the beliefs we have about ourselves and reality. These beliefs shape how we deliberate and choose, impacting our emotional landscape in a profound way. Sometimes the beliefs constitute our identity. If the beliefs are left unexplored they become self-fulfilling in our awareness, reflected back by reality, because in this perspective anything that happens in our experience is a reflection of an inner stance we are holding. Our perspective shapes our perception - we create our own reality, or how we give meaning and relate to what is happening.

The work of coaching is to explore our perspective, witnessing the beliefs we have and allowing them to reveal themselves and hold them in loving awareness.  In light of this it may be possible to look into the truth of the beliefs, and deconstruct the the false assumptions or underlying competing commitments. Are these deeply held beliefs which govern us really true? One way to deconstruct is to find the places in awareness where we already know the belief is not true - and go there, to remember the deeper truth and connect with a more honest identity. Its about discovering the choices which are there, even if we didnt notice them, and connect with more freedom and possibility.

What I find especially interesting is that the Relateful coaching is coming from a place of surrendering to being and embracing what is here right now, and simultaneously searching for the hidden potential, the deeper truths and a more aligned identity. It is so easy to move into a onedimensional view of what it means to be human, to emphasize either the agency, responsibility and freedom, or to focus on the passivity and vulnerability of the human condition, our lack of control. But in this approach to coaching it feels like the paradox of being human, that we are both rational autonomous beings who are free and capable of choice, and also deeply dependent vulnerable embodied beings, is being acknowledged and held in loving awareness.

What this means to me is that in our individual lives this work is an exploration of how to relate to reality in a way which is more aligned with love and truth. However I also want to see this in the context of the collective. Which beliefs are right now shaping our societies in a way that is not aligned with truth and love? Where do we have choices which we are not aware of yet? How can we together explore alternatives and connect with our freedom and possibility of a different future? To me this highlights how change often starts with words, ideas we share and explore together, discovering deeper truths and moving away from beliefs which are untrue in light of our better knowing. 

In light of history it is easy to see outdated beliefs and this exploration as an ongoing process in society - we no longer believe that kings are divine or that racism is a natural fact. And it is also obvious in a historical perspective that change is really hard and takes time. So an important question is, which are the beliefs we hold today which are not aligned with who we really are, what are the changes humanity needs to face now? How are our societies shaped by beliefs which are not aligned with truth and love? Is capitalism actually an outdated belief? Is the dividing of humanity in national states a true division? Is the destruction of nature for financial gain something which brings us into a future we really want? 

I feel curious about this, especially how our societies may reflect the beliefs we hold about who we are as human beings. John Naisbitt, a famous author on future studies, pointed out the possibilities of changing concepts about what it means to be human in our century, and today we see the struggles between old and new concepts in many areas, for example the rethinking of sexual identity and gender, the role of international cooperation and global solidarity and community, and our view of the human relationship with nature. Maybe we are moving towards being able to see every living being more as a unique being with dignity, and less as a member of groups in a hierarchy.

In light of the insights from the Relateful coaching training it feels important to continue exploring the beliefs we hold which shape our reality and our life choices. This feels like a way of opening for the new, and make the choices we do about who we are and what kind of reality we are creating, visible to us.   


    

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